“Quiet strength,” is often a compliment given to those who hold their emotions and worries inside, especially men., But is this a true picture of strength, or can we go deeper to understand what is really going on in the minds of men. Hope Edelman, an American writer, known for her focus on family and loss, challenges this common idea in her short piece called “Strong Men.” By telling real-life stories of men she knows, Edelman offers another way of seeing what strength can look like. Reading “Strong men” can change our universal view about masculinity in our society.
Hope Edelman is most famous for her book Motherless Daughters, which explores how losing a mother at a young age caused emotional trauma. Through that work and others, she has become known for writing about grief and personal growth. She mixes honest storytelling with facts. This style of writing, where an author uses techniques from both journalism and creative writing, is known as literary journalism. “Strong Men” is an example of literary journalism.
Edelman describes the men in “Strong Men” as “men craggy and weathered, in rumpled flannel shirts and work pants, arms crossed tight in the static haze of unfiltered cigarette smoke.” These same men are the protective father-like men Edelman meets in twelve step meetings. She does not just report the facts but makes herself vulnerable by sharing the part of her journey that intersects with men in the story.
“Sometimes they spit brown bullets into Styrofoam cups. Often, they cried.” Is a great example of how Edelman uses metaphor and imagery in this story. Another literary journalism technique implemented is the use of dialogue. “Hi, I’m L Alcoholic” (Hi, L.). This brings us into the church basement meeting with the men in this story. Edelman is present in these meetings, sharing her personal account of the men in the rooms, and the endearing relationship they develop with her. She gives the detailed example of one man delivering a barbeque, to her home in his pick-up truck, after getting her a good deal on it. These are the same men that share their pain around losing precious time with their children after a divorce. “Goddamn he missed their little voices, he said.”
These same men, while making themselves vulnerable, by sharing their fears and life circumstances in front of her, also, with father-like protection, (The good kind of father), will do anything for her. They patiently wait for her to come to the realization that she might belong in these meetings. We learn about the men and their struggles through the stories they share in the twelve step meetings.
“Strong Men” is a short but meaningful piece that challenges us to rethink the common belief that real men are never scared or sad. Through her literary journalism approach, Edelman reveals that strength can also include vulnerability, honesty, and caring for others It reminds us that whether we’re male or female, young or old, genuine strength often lies in facing our fears and sharing them with the people we love.
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